What twisted people we are. How simple we seem, or pretend to be in front of others, and how twisted we are deep down. How paltry we are and how spectacularly we contort ourselves before our own eyes and the eyes of others…And all for what? To hide what? To make people believe what?
Individuals who are innately predisposed to introversion tend to defend against shame by internal withdrawal. Relationships are either avoided or abandoned, and the individual may display an oscillating in- and- out pattern with regard to relationships. When an introvert is forced to contend with excessive shame, the typical response is to hide deeper inside. While some innate introverts develop “learned extroversion” in response to shame, usually the self becomes more hidden, shut in, further isolated, increasingly detached from others.
+ shame + introversion + depression + guilt + shame bound + withdrawal + relationships + self + hidden + retreat + isolated + hide + detatched
Guilt usually has a cause—effect pattern of beginning, middle and end, whereas shame is all—pervasive, leaving no recourse for action. When we feel ashamed of ourselves, we want to hide from the world. We even want to hide from ourselves because the self rejection is so painful. No amount of reassurance from the outside will change the internal experience of unworthiness. Shame clings like sticky sap on a tree.
+ guilt + shame + pervasive + terminal + action + end + rejection + self-worth + unworthy + clings + reassurance + anxiety + depression + eating disorders + cause + effect + ashamed + hide
It was sadness, lostness, and the worst thing about it was the way it seemed like a default- like it was there all the time, and all her other expressions were just an array of masks she used to cover it up.
+ lani taylor + sadness + lost + floating + wandering + lostness + default + depression + alone + lonely + cover up + mask + conceal + hide + expressions + despair + isolated + constant
Once again, I retreated into my deepest mental hiding place.
+ anne rice + vampire armand + hide + hiding place + retreat + isoalte + withdraw + deep + thoughts + mind + retreated
She struggled with her sadness, but tried to conceal it, to divide it into smaller and smaller parts and scatter these in places she thought no one would find.
+ sadness + conceal + hide + repress + find + depression + smaller + parts
Emotions are regarded as troublesome or frightening. Anger is to be avoided, sadness eliminated as soon as possible. In order to survive in this world, she must deny or downplay them. She quickly learns that in order to please others around her, she must present a pleasant, happy face and hide any other feelings. She feels like she is just going through the motions. There is a certain emptiness in her life an emptiness she tries to fill with food.
+ eating in the light of the moon + eating disorder + please + people + emotions + feelings + deny + suppress + happy + hide + empty + food + anger + sadness
I wonder which is preferable – to walk around all your life swollen up with your secrets until you burst from the pressure of them, or to have them sucked out of you, every paragraph, every sentence, every word for them, so at the end you’re depleted of all that was once as precious to you as hoarded gold, as close to you as your skin – everything that was of the deepest importance to you, everything that made you cringe and wish to conceal, everything that belonged to you alone – and must spend the rest of your days like an empty sack flapping in the wind, an empty sack branded with a bright fluorescent label so that everyone will know what sort of secrets used to be inside you?
I spend all this time taking everything I am and hiding it away. I never show who I am to anyone. I hide my writings, my thoughts, my interests, my emotions. I hide all that I value in this world. I never let anyone in. Not once.
+ hide + private + alone + share + thoughts + emotions + people + relationships
I am afraid. I am not solid, but hollow. I feel behind my eyes a numb, paralyzed cavern, a pit of hell, a mimicking nothingness. I never thought. I never wrote, I never suffered. I want to kill myself, to escape from responsibility, to crawl back abjectly into the womb. I do not know who I am, where I am going–and I am the one who has to decide the answers to these hideous questions.
You cannot find peace by avoiding life.
A bulimic person’s shame may lead her to try not only to hide her eating- disordered behaviors but also her basic needs and yearnings. She may wish that her needs and desires did not exist and may try to act as if she does not need or want anyone or anything. when that attempt inevitably fails, she may wish others could magically read her mind and respond to her needs and wants without having to ask for anything. To avoid shame of expressing her needs and desires, she turns to food rather than relationships, for comfort. Instant gratification, that you can’t find in other places.
+ sensing the self + bulimia + needs + yearnings + shame + eating disorder + hide + need + want + desires + food + relationships + avoid + expressing
How can you hide from what never goes away?
+ Heraclitus + hide + never-ending + goes away + depression + eating disorder + life + anxiety
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.
+ afraid + reality + love + hurt + disturbing + strength + feeling + hide + society + destroy + jim morrison
