In this passionately social world, loneliness dogged the spirit. People were constantly “getting together”, but they never really got there. Everyone was terrified of being alone with himself; yet in company, in spite of the universal assumption of comradeship, these strange beings remained as remote from one another as the stars. For everyone searched his neighbor’s eyes for the image of himself, and never saw anything else. Or if he did, he was terrified and outraged.
— Olaf Stapledon, Star Maker
There is the solitude of suffering, when you go through darkness that is lonely, intense, and terrible. Words become powerless to express your pain; what others hear from your words is so distant and different from what you are actually suffering.
— John O’Donohue
I don’t want to be alone. I have never wanted to be alone. I fucking hate it. I hate that I have no one to talk to, I hate that I have no one to call, I hate that I have no one to hold my hand, hug me, tell me everything is going to be all right. I hate that I have no one to share my hopes and dreams with, I hate that I no longer have any hopes or dreams, I hate that I have no one to tell me to hold on, that I can find them again. I hate that when I scream, and I scream bloody murder, that I am screaming into emptiness. I hate that there is no one to hear my scream and that there is no one to help me learn how to stop screaming. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn’t alone.
— James Frey (via durianquotes)
Every heart has its secret sorrows which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I would never be part of anything. I would never really belong anywhere, and I knew it, and all my life would be the same, trying to belong, and failing. Always something would go wrong. I am a stranger and I always will be, and after all I didn’t really care.
— Jean Rhys, Smile Please: An Unfinished Autobiography (via lydianea)
Persons with bulimia often relate that they experience these features of dissociation just before and during binges and purges. They describe a sense of “not being able to stop myself,” experiencing objectification of themselves as distant from their own processes and feelings during the binge episode.