Many never feel safe enough to relax yet find in eating disorders an pervasive mode of escape. Here’s how the escape works: you flee anxiety by pulling into yourself, you purge your fear by vomiting it up, you become so obsessive about your body that nothing else in the world seems to matter. The result is that you feel you have this body- your contained world- under control”.
— Gaining, Aimee Liu
Most people are upset by feeling too out of control; many never take risks voluntarily. Their lives are devoted to maintaining the safety of the status quo. This adherence to the familiar is often a reaction to a tumultuous or unpredictable early life, perhaps from an emotionally unstable family. Chaos is terrifying for children, so they respond by trying to control whatever they can their own emotions, their bodies, their surroundings
— Joyce Houser, Understanding How Therapy Heals
If other people do not understand our behavior-so what? Their request that we must only do what they understand is an attempt to dictate to us. If this is being “asocial” or “irrational” in their eyes, so be it. Mostly they resent our freedom and our courage to be ourselves. We owe nobody an explanation or an accounting, as long as our acts do not hurt or infringe on them.
— Erich Fromm
The thing I’m most afraid of is me. Of not knowing what I’m going to do. Of not knowing what I’m doing right now.
— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84 (via selfinspiration)
I do not want to pass the time. I want to grab hold of it and leave my mark upon the world.
— Libba Bray, The Sweet Far Thing
I think I have always had the misguided sense that worry and fear serve as an insurance policy of sorts. On a subconscious level, I subscribe to the notion that if you worry about something, it is somehow less likely to happen. Well, I am here to say it doesn’t work like that. The very thing you fear the most can still happen anyway. And when it does, you feel that much more cheated for having feared it in the first place.
— Emily Giffin, Baby Proof
Many individuals have said in effect that “I so fear death that I am driven to suicide.” The idea of suicide offers some surcease from terror. It is an active act; it permits one to control that which controls one.
— Existential Pschotherapy
I suppose it’s a comfort, perhaps a sense of self- control, doing worse damage to yourself than the world will ever dare inflict.
— Chuck Palahniuk, Tell All
One minute everything is fine, and the next, you are wondering how you managed to tear everything apart. Actions force things forward, and the grip you have on things is lost, and all at once. What you think you own, and order, and manipulate, is suddenly out of your hands.
— Grace Bowman, Thin