It was a source of both terror and comfort to me then that I often seemed invisible- incompletely and minimally existent, in fact. It seemed to me that I made no impact on the world, and that in exchange I was privileged to watch it unaware.
— Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping
Because that’s the thing about depression. When I feel it deeply, I don’t want to let it go. It becomes a comfort. I want to cloak myself under its heavy weight and breathe it into my lunges. I want to nurture it, grow it, cultivate it. It’s mine. I want to check out with it, drift asleep wrapped in its arms and not wake up for a long, long time.
— Stephanie Perkins (via hellanne)
The individual attempts to separate himself, to individuate, to affirm his autonomy, to go forward, to fulfill his potential. Yet there comes a time when he develops fear in the face of life. Individuation, emergence, or affirmation of specialness, are not duty-free: they entail a fearful, lonely sense of unprotectedness- a sense that the individual assuages by reversing direction: one goes “backward,” relinquishes individuation, finds comfort in fusing, in dissolving oneself, in giving oneself up to one another. Yet the comfort is unstable because this alternative evokes fear also- the fear of death: relinquishment, stagnation, and finally, inorganicity. Between these two poles of fear, life fear and death fear, the individual shuttles throughout life.
— Existential Psychotherapy
I suppose it’s a comfort, perhaps a sense of self- control, doing worse damage to yourself than the world will ever dare inflict.
— Chuck Palahniuk, Tell All
When we make our misery, we sometimes cling to it even when we want so bad to change, because the misery is something we know. The misery is comfortable.
It doesn’t matter that you’ve got people who love you and the sun is shining and there’s a movie coming out this weekend that you’ve been dying to see. It hits you all of a sudden that nothing is ever going to be okay, ever, and you kind of dare yourself. You pick up a knife and press it gently to your skin, you look out a nineteenth-story window and you think, I could just do it. I could just do it. And most of the time, you look at the height and you get scared, or you think about the poor people on the sidewalk below — what if there are kids coming home from school and they have to spend the rest of their lives trying to forget this terrible thing you’re going to make them see? And the moment’s over. You think about how sad it would’ve been if you never got to see that movie, and you look at your dog and wonder who would’ve taken care of her if you had gone. And you go back to normal. But you keep it there in your mind. Even if you never take yourself up on it, it gives you a kind of comfort to know that the day is yours to choose.
— Carolyn Parkhurst
Most people are not looking for provable truths. As you said, truth is often accompanied by intense pain, and almost no one is looking for painful truths. What people need is beautiful, comforting stories that make them feel as if their lives have some meaning. Which is where religion comes from.
— Haruki Murakami