home   askbox   about   archive          

.

© rosefeather

update.

I am sitting in my new dorm room. 

I feel anxious. So much uncertainty. So many new people. 

I got here last night and met my new roommate who seems pretty nice; I don’t think we’d be great friends or anything, but good roommates. Anyway I had to loft my bed by myself because no one else was around. OMG hardest thing ever. I literally had to lift my bed by myself, put the wooden piece underneath it with my other hand..Ugh glad that’s over with.  I feel really anxious being here. I honestly would rather be home with my mom.. how lame do I sound? I hope once classes start and HOPEFULLY I get accepted by a sorority and meet people that I’ll feel more settled and comfortable. I know if I keep doing well with b/p I can use that as momentum to keep doing well. It’s so hard having my car here wanting to just go b/p like I’m used to. I did once yesterday driving back from the airport to school. I was too overwhelmed about meeting my roommates, unpacking all my boxes and suitcases, I gave in.  It wasn’t even intentional, I went to Whole Foods while I was downtown and driving on the way back the anxiety starting overwhelming me and I started just eating what I bought :/ ugh. Today I haven’t yet and I am trying hard to not do it at all. I have to say it is easier with a roommate. And also our bathroom’s walls are paper thin so I would have to do it at some public place which is more effort/anxiety. I’m still unpacking all my suitcases because I have so many clothes and there’s not enough room. I’m still trying to figure out how I can get creative with finding a place for all my clothes :/. Ugh dorm living is horrible. It’s kind of awkward having a roommate, I feel like she’s always watching me hah. It makes me self conscious. Anyway my anxiety is getting worse, which I expected with everything being new and new people ect. I’m just trying to give it time, not put too much pressure on myself but also not let myself isolate. I am trying to be positive. Anxiety is essentially energy; if I can channel it into excitement instead of fear and dread that could really help me. Rush for sororities starts in 2 days which is nerve-wracking too, but that’s probably normal to be anxious about..basically being judged for your looks, personality, ect. hopefully it isn’t too bad.